••• The Independent test-drives the Santa Barbara Trapeze Company at Earl Warren Showgrounds.
••• “One person is currently under mandatory quarantine at Naval Base Ventura County–Point Mugu. Representatives […] held a press conference Wednesday to discuss the coronavirus quarantine site located at the base and the individual who is under quarantine. […] The individual is a male and is considered to be asymptomatic, meaning he has not shown any symptoms.” —KEYT
••• “The County Board of Supervisors moved ahead Tuesday with approving stages of various debris flow basin projects—the first of which being the Cold Springs Debris Basin Expansion Project. […] Several other debris basin projects were unanimously approved for pre-construction reviews to identify potential obstacles, but the projects themselves won’t be before the board for approval until later this year. Those projects are the proposed Randall Road Debris Basin and the San Ysidro, Romero, and Cold Springs Debris Basin Modification Projects.” —Independent
••• “Several dozen people spoke out Tuesday night about the Santa Barbara Unified School District’s plan to implement updated sexual education classes in junior high school.” Cue the crazy parent quote: “Teaching explicit sexual content to children does absolutely nothing to help students become more academically proficient,” said Caroline Abate. “All it does is hurt them mentally, emotionally, physically, and academically. These disgusting sexual programs have infiltrated into our public schools because of politicians from the Democrat Party.” Wait till she discovers porn on the Internet. —Noozhawk
••• Another Edhat classic: “A naked subject is taking a shower with a garden hose in someone’s yard, 600 Block of East De La Guerra.”
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